Chapter 39, Ketly Recovers Pt.1
When I turned the last page of Jeff’s book, much of my hurt had dissipated. There was a lot to show that Angela had been me, but there was nothing to prove that I was Angela. There was no surprising note hidden in the pages of my copy of the book with a marriage proposal. Yet, I was healed to know that my heart had not simply been a board game. Everything I had remembered— all the truly important moments Jeff and I had shared, did not only stand out in my mind, but his as well. I felt almost ready to pick up the pieces of the dream that had fallen apart, and make something of my reemerging hopes. Since Angela had declined Jeff’s offer, and I hadn’t gotten one, I knew the book had come to help me to see Jeff in a different light, and for the sake of Shayne, I needed that. I’d finished the book three days ago, and despite all it had done to move me along, I stuck it in the corner of my upper closet under a pile of other books, I’d ran out of room for. I tried to focus on the days ahead, and specifically on all the activities of this particular day. It was the morning of Shayne’s Christening, and my mom and dad had flown in to be there. I hadn’t yet seen them, and couldn’t wait to meet them at the church. Mostly, I couldn’t wait to see my father. No one loved me like my father. I’d shared bits and pieces about Jeff with him, but I was always very selective. I couldn’t take the chance of him hating Jeff. Of course it was all for Shayne’s sake. I looked at myself in the mirror, and barely could recognize myself. I’d gone to Kayla for the very first time to do my hair. We’d spoken years ago, and she understood my loyalty to Sheila, but suddenly I felt for something different. I think I wanted wow, and from where I was standing, wow had happened. I checked the time, and began gathering all of the little things I knew Shayne would need. He was already all dressed in his over-sized suit that swallowed him up. I sat for a moment on the sofa to soak him up, and kiss his fat cheeks. I lived for him. Especially his little noises that tugged boastfully at my heart. When I felt all filled with love and joy, I took our things, and locked the door behind us.