Chapter 37, Camie's Dream
Derek and I spoke a lot about where to go from where we now were. We would have both loved to approach our love like teenagers, but we were not. We had to decide now what our intentions were, and what the distance would be. I suggested we tell Hannah what our plans were that night after her party. I also thought it would be a good time to unveil her new bedroom to her. I’d already shown Derek, and he was really excited for her. He drove separately to my apartment, and agreed to stay in the car, until it made sense to come up. On the way there, Hannah continued to speak about the party, and I tried to listen to her while my thoughts were also demanding my attention. I knew Hannah would love the room; that was the easy part. Everything else seemed to have too many variables. I didn’t do well with variables. My hands were vibrating, and I tried to shake them free discreetly by running my hands through my hair. The dilemma wasn’t necessarily how to run my life, but more of how to run my life with my child in mind. I’d taken a pass on this road in the past, and now here I was trying to face it.