Chapter 23, Camie's Soul Tie

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel

Chapter 23

Camie’s Soul Tie

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.  He was more handsome than cute now.  He had a pull; an aura…something more.  I hadn’t seen it before through my fury, but now the ethers were clear, and the connection was becoming intoxicating.  I was entirely engulfed by his every move.  He glimpsed up a couple of times and smiled his sweet smile.  I couldn’t eat.  And I barely could sleep for two nights waiting to see him again.  At work my mind kept slipping off and then taking its sweet old time getting back.  I enjoyed having a dinner partner, and I didn’t want our date to end.  Things were surely starting to feel like they were coming together for me here at home.  I felt like I was regaining parts of me that I had lost.  I tried to figure out why Derek hadn’t tried to kiss me.  I wanted to remember his kisses, and feel his grown up hands on my skin but he never budged.

            “You okay?  Why you so quiet?”  Derek asked.

            “I’m fine.”

            “I been around long enough to know something is always wrong when a woman says “I’m fine”.”

            “I’m just emotional lately.  I heard my voice crack and felt my eyes watering.”

            “What’s wrong?”  Derek reached across the table and grabbed my hand with a deep look of concern.

            “I’m scared.”  I blurted out.

Derek got up, came over to my side of the table, and sat down beside me.

            “Jen don’t be scared.  It will be different this time.  I promise.”  He whispered

            “I was so in love with you.”  I mumbled.

            “I know and I’m sorry.  I was in love with you too, but I was scared and I ran away.  I know I hurt you, but I’m a man now, and I can love you like you deserve to be loved.”  Derek kissed my cheek and my lips. 

            “I know what you’re feeling.  I feel it too.  It’s happening fast, and it is very scary, but I’m willing.  I’m willing to risk the safety of being alone for the joy of being in love, and I would love if you were willing too.  He said now back in his seat. 

            “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”  I admitted.  I sat and listened as I let my secret slip away.

            “So let’s be together.”  Derek said in a soft voice and like it was no big deal.

Next Day

            I lay beside the man who was also the first boy to ever touch my naked body.  I couldn’t image this moment.  No way even if God himself had told me could I have believed this moment possible.  There was too much anger and resentment for me to imagine it, but in what seemed like an instant I had forgotten the pain.  It was strange to see my heartache just dissipate.  His love was powerful, and in some strange way, it was almost as if we’d never been apart.  I held onto Derek all night and spent most of the morning drinking his aroma.  I tried not to think about the fact that he would have to leave at some point.  I just couldn’t bear to release him.  He shifted beneath the covers and turned to face me.

            “Good Morning.”

            “Hi.”  I was nothing but mush.

            “Boy, have you grown up!” Derek kissed my lips as his hand walked my earth.

            “You’re amazing.”  I whispered in his ear.

            “We’re amazing!”  Derek smiled.

            “So what do we say to Hannah?”

            “I don’t know.”  Derek looked as if he hadn’t even considered it.

            “Do you think it’s a good idea to even say anything right now?”  I asked laying so snugly with my daughter’s father.  I felt relieved to be with a man who knew me beyond the lie I had built.  I felt safe.  I felt like I could stop holding my breath. I felt like I had leaped forward in time.  Somehow coming home to this place that for so long represented resentment and pain was healing me.  I felt stronger, worthy, and alive again.  And after all the sex I’d had, who knew it could feel like this.  I’d never felt so much intention behind a kiss.  It felt like every kiss had something to say to me, and just when I thought I would explode, he’d stop and just look at me. He’d kiss every part of me and say something totally unscripted like… “Promise me we’ll fight harder for each other this time.” My body had long lost its mind, and now my mind was gone too.  I couldn’t recover.  I couldn’t manipulate this; couldn’t control this.  It was out of my hands, and into my heart.  We couldn’t get any closer; any more intertwined… it was the theory of knots. I lay in Derek’s arms with my head tucked under his chin soaking up his sweet scent, hugging his waist and with our legs locked.  

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel © Grace Call Communications, LLC Copyright ©2010, 2016, 2017 by Natisha Renee Williams All Rights Reserved