A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel
Chapter 23
Camie’s Soul Tie
I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He was more handsome than cute now. He had a pull; an aura…something more. I hadn’t seen it before through my fury, but
now the ethers were clear, and the connection was becoming intoxicating. I was entirely engulfed by his every
move. He glimpsed up a couple of times
and smiled his sweet smile. I couldn’t
eat. And I barely could sleep for two
nights waiting to see him again. At work
my mind kept slipping off and then taking its sweet old time getting back. I enjoyed having a dinner partner, and I
didn’t want our date to end. Things were
surely starting to feel like they were coming together for me here at
home. I felt like I was regaining parts
of me that I had lost. I tried to figure
out why Derek hadn’t tried to kiss me. I
wanted to remember his kisses, and feel his grown up hands on my skin but he
never budged.
“You okay? Why you
so quiet?” Derek asked.
“I’m fine.”
“I been around long enough to know something is always
wrong when a woman says “I’m fine”.”
“I’m just emotional lately. I heard my voice crack and felt my eyes
watering.”
“What’s wrong?”
Derek reached across the table and grabbed my hand with a deep look of
concern.
“I’m scared.” I
blurted out.
Derek got up, came over to my
side of the table, and sat down beside me.
“Jen don’t be scared.
It will be different this time. I
promise.” He whispered
“I was so in love with you.” I mumbled.
“I know and I’m sorry.
I was in love with you too, but I was scared and I ran away. I know I hurt you, but I’m a man now, and I
can love you like you deserve to be loved.”
Derek kissed my cheek and my lips.
“I know what you’re feeling. I feel it too. It’s happening fast, and it is very scary,
but I’m willing. I’m willing to risk the
safety of being alone for the joy of being in love, and I would love if you
were willing too. He said now back in
his seat.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” I admitted.
I sat and listened as I let my secret slip away.
“So let’s be together.”
Derek said in a soft voice and like it was no big deal.
Next Day
I lay beside the man who was also the first boy to ever
touch my naked body. I couldn’t image
this moment. No way even if God himself
had told me could I have believed this moment possible. There was too much anger and resentment for
me to imagine it, but in what seemed like an instant I had forgotten the
pain. It was strange to see my heartache
just dissipate. His love was powerful,
and in some strange way, it was almost as if we’d never been apart. I held onto Derek all night and spent most of
the morning drinking his aroma. I tried
not to think about the fact that he would have to leave at some point. I just couldn’t bear to release him. He shifted beneath the covers and turned to
face me.
“Good Morning.”
“Hi.” I was
nothing but mush.
“Boy, have you grown up!” Derek kissed my lips as his
hand walked my earth.
“You’re amazing.”
I whispered in his ear.
“We’re amazing!”
Derek smiled.
“So what do we say to Hannah?”
“I don’t know.”
Derek looked as if he hadn’t even considered it.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to even say anything right
now?” I asked laying so snugly with my
daughter’s father. I felt relieved to be
with a man who knew me beyond the lie I had built. I felt safe.
I felt like I could stop holding my breath. I felt like I had leaped
forward in time. Somehow coming home to
this place that for so long represented resentment and pain was healing
me. I felt stronger, worthy, and alive
again. And after all the sex I’d
had, who knew it could feel like this. I’d never felt so much intention behind a
kiss. It felt like every kiss had
something to say to me, and just when I thought I would explode, he’d stop and
just look at me. He’d kiss every part of me and say something totally
unscripted like… “Promise me we’ll fight
harder for each other this time.” My body had long lost its mind, and now
my mind was gone too. I couldn’t
recover. I couldn’t manipulate this; couldn’t
control this. It was out of my hands,
and into my heart. We couldn’t get any
closer; any more intertwined… it was the theory of knots. I lay in Derek’s arms
with my head tucked under his chin soaking up his sweet scent, hugging his
waist and with our legs locked.
A Better Pair
of Shoes, a novel © Grace Call Communications,
LLC Copyright
©2010, 2016, 2017 by Natisha Renee Williams All Rights Reserved
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