Message from the Author Dear Reader,                 Thank you for coming along for what was for me, a joy ride.  A Better Pair of Shoes was written to further emphasize Kayla’s journey of recovery.  In the process of that intention, a world of very relatable matters came to the surface.  As was the case with Renegotiating Kayla , in this new book, I leaned on my ability to characterize emotions, pains, hurts, and confusions.  The two main quests of ABPOS were, “Where do we look in the face of failure” and “How do we maintain composure when our past reemerges in our current circumstance”.   As an author of fiction, I never thought to answer the questions for the readers, but present possibilities.  I hope they were enjoyable to read and imagine.  I wish you all the best in all of your quests and questions, and I challenge you in life, to always:  choose hone...

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 37 Camie’s Dream Derek and I spoke a lot about where to go from where we now were.  We would have both loved to approach our love like teenagers, but we were not.  We had to decide now what our intentions were, and what the distance would be.  I suggested we tell Hannah what our plans were that night after her party.  I also thought it would be a good time to unveil her new bedroom to her.  I’d already shown Derek, and he was really excited for her.  He drove separately to my apartment, and agreed to stay in the car, until it made sense to come up.  On the way there, Hannah continued to speak about the party, and I tried to listen to her while my thoughts were also demanding my attention.  I knew Hannah would love the room; that was the easy part.  Everything else seemed to have too many variables.  I didn’t do well with variables.  My hands were vibrating, and I tried to shake them ...

To start the book:  https://abetterpairofshoes.blogspot.com/2017/05/chapter-1-camies-secret.html A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 36 Ketly in Author’s Armor The knock on the door was unexpected.  I hadn’t ordered anything, but I could see that it was that new parcel carrier I’d seen around in the building.  I anxiously opened the door with a new sense of expectation.  I was a sucker for packages.  He handed over the small box, and I quickly signed.  It didn’t take me long to spot Jeff’s handwriting, and suddenly because of the shape of the box, I had an idea what it could be.  This time my anxiety was not filled with expectation, but fear.  I didn’t understand why.  Why would he play such an awful trick?  I had gone out of my way to avoid the book.  I didn’t want to know the release date, I hadn’t check online to see the cover, and I hadn’t fished for any reviews.  I had steered clear up until now.  Now ...

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 35 Aisha and Tony in The Nick of Time It was the last day of April—our wedding anniversary.  We lay with the blinds closed and curtains drawn in our hotel room.  Two weeks prior, I didn’t know if we’d make it here.  Our trip had been booked since November.  I must admit I had forgotten about the trip, and even our anniversary, from inside the eye of the storm.  I hadn’t thought about it, until Tony reminded me, on the way home from Tampa.  It was a long drive, and at first a silent one also.  I’d heard myself give my husband a second chance, but I hadn’t fully comprehended what it would look and sound like.  For the first hour, it sounded like radio waves.  That was all the sound between us.  I had no idea where to begin, and Tony hadn’t offered any direction.  Eventually, he simply reached over and held my hand.  He met my eyes with a smile. “Don’t give up on us Aisha....

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 33 and 34 Tony's Mantle I entered the unknown home behind Aisha.  I’d hope she would let me try to fight for her.  I hadn’t before, because I was looking at our life through public lenses.  I’d stepped out of our marriage, and joined everyone else as a spectator.  I saw things the way they saw things.  I judged the situation the way an outsider was expected to judge the situation.  I played right into the disaster Reece had meant to unleash in my marriage.  I hadn’t seen it from my wife’s shoes.  I couldn’t just then.  I was too embarrassed.  I still wasn’t a hundred percent comfortable with her secret, but I suspected that could never happen anyway.  I thought long and hard about what I should do, and I heard something say, “Love her”.  Right after that, I felt this kind of peace about it.  Like I was prepared to deal with whatever else would come—not just in this situat...

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 32 Surprise Again (narrated by Kayla) Camie had called and ask that we come up for Hannah’s birthday party, so we all cleared our Sunday to be there.  This time Ketly and Shayne were along for the ride.  Aisha elected herself to do the driving.  She was probably hoping she could spare us all of maybe thirty minutes.  Anyway, I was glad to be able to relax, and Ketly was writing and entertaining Shayne here and there.  The long and quiet stretches of road were exactly what I needed to help me sort out all the things I was contemplating.  We arrived early, just a little after noon, and could hardly get to exchange any words with Camie before she was ordering and directing us to carry, hang, or unpack things.  We had officially become part of the decorating team.  Hannah appeared to be in much better spirits, and was running around Erilyn’s back yard chasing the family dog. Eventually a handso...

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 31 Kayla, Without a Doubt My meetings with Dr. Kat were getting easier.  I still thought in advance about where she would lead me and how I would react.  Mostly, I thought about the question she asked me on my first visit, “why was I there”.  Initially, I thought it was about my sexual desires, but more and more as the weeks went by, I could clearly see that I was there for much more reason.  I guess it’s likely to assume that our past would get further and further away from us, as time naturally created space and distance.  Yet, somehow in my subconscious mind, time was just time.  I couldn’t help but to notice, that on more than one occasion, when I was leaving Dr. Kat’s office, she had called in a woman with the last name Johnson.  Given that Johnson had been my original maiden name, I would always think of my father when I heard the name.          ...

A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 30 Kayla in Woods Shoes  Wood continued to attend church on Sundays.  I had accompanied him a hand full of times, but I just wasn’t there with God.  He didn’t allow it to break our bond, and gave me the space to sort out my feelings.  This Sunday I had gotten up early, and began looking for something to wear.  Once I knew what, I looked for a tie that would match my ensemble for Wood to wear.  In fact, I went ahead and ironed him a shirt too.  From there, I moved on to breakfast.  Nothing major—just scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit.  We arrived before the parking lot got crowded, and found a spot near the entrance.  I looked at the service bulletin, and saw that the message was titled “Healing is in Honesty”.  Right away, I thought about all the ways in which honesty had made way for my love with Wood to blossom into something truly healing.  I really didn’t have the words to e...

start the book now:  https://abetterpairofshoes.blogspot.com/2017/05/chapter-1-camies-secret.html A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 29 Tony Stumbles and Fall  She’d been hanging around the club quite a bit.  I couldn’t help but notice her.  She was tall and alluring, and her presence was bold and menacing.  She always showed up alone and never left with anyone— week after week.  She just seemed to really appreciate the music and the arts.  I did notice several regulars try to get to know her, and even took residence at her table from time to time, but she never seemed to blink or even appeared to be flattered by their company.  She smiled and made polite talk, but nothing.  Eventually, I thought maybe I would give it a shot.  I guess it’s just the male instinct to want to get in on the sport.  I knew I wasn’t trying to get into anything, but I decided to stick my head in.  I usually looked in on all the act...