The novel takes you on a transformational journey with the women of "Renegotiating Kayla". Read along as the women let go of their public faces, and begin to reveal fears and truths. You will witness an unarmoring of each character’s confidence, as they heed the warning to get real, and in particular, real honest. *Read Chapters in Sequence using the Index.
Chapter 27 and 28, Camie Gets Back to Motherhood and Aisha Creates Space
A Better Pair of Shoes, a novel Chapter 27 and 28
Gets Back to Motherhood
I decided to take Hannah shopping for some things for her
new bedroom. On the way there, I was able
to pick her brain and hear all about her life.
I was curious to learn more about her and know how things were going at
school and at home.
“So, think you’ll invite any of the kids from school to
your party on Sunday?”
“Yeah, I think Rebecca, Josie, and Summer.”
“Nice! Well I’ll
be sure to give you some invitations to hand out.” It made me happy to know that Hannah had a
group of friends.
“And how are you enjoying hanging out with your dad?”
“I like it. He’s
really cool. We always go to the movies
or wall climbing.” Hannah’s eyes were
“That sounds like fun for sure!” I was delighted by how much Hannah was into
her dad. “So,
how’s everything at home?”
“Do you ever do really fun things with Aunt Eri and
Nat and I don’t get along much lately.”
“Why not?” I was
surprised to learn of this.
“I don’t know—she’s just mean sometimes. And aunt Eri never takes my side. Then uncle Nate and aunt Eri ends up
fighting—and he’ll say… Don’t you think it’s time Jennifer steps in?” I was disappointed to hear the hurt in
Hannah’s voice. I didn’t realize how
much of an orphan she had begun to feel.
I just remember her being so jolly the last time I was home. I knew Nat was four years older that Hannah,
but I thought they would always share a bond.
All of a sudden, I was thankful to know that Derek had returned, and was
spending time with Hannah. Naturally, I
became more intrigued by the thought of us being a family. I smiled briefly at the thought of Derek,
Hannah, and I living under one roof.
What a dream that would be. And
the fact that the chances weren’t so slim made it all the more exciting to
I decided I needed to create some real distance between
Tony and I, and instead of making things really complicated, I asked Ketly if I
could crash with her for a few weeks. I
wasn’t sure how I would fair in a household with a small child, but I didn’t
want to be completely alone during this time.
I thought it would also be nice for me and Ketly to catch up.
I’d spent the last few days thinking about the possibility
of having an emotional affair with Evan, but I decided not to bring my old skin
into my marriage. Furthermore, I wanted
nothing to do with another man. Tony had
been everything I had hoped for up until this point. I knew where my heart lied— I just needed to
schedule a meeting where my head and heart could get on the same page. Perhaps, the time at Ketly’s would provide me
the room to get them together. Not to
mention, Ketly was solid. She always
gave great advice, and wasn’t a highly emotional person. I packed two large suitcases, and left a note
for Tony on the kitchen table.
At Ketly’s I couldn’t help but notice how extremely
simple she was. It was obvious that Camie
had never gotten her hands on the small space.
It was a great looking building and was perfectly located near all the
major highways, but the inside of her condo could certainly use a
makeover. The laminate counter tops,
white appliances, and over worn furniture, made Ketly look unaccomplished. The walls were littered with all types of
cultural art, but other than the oversized wall unit, and the two-piece
furniture set, the living space just wasn’t very inviting. I was glad to see that the floors were nicely
polished however. Funny, I hadn’t
realized how much our friendship was set to the world, and not much else. I suppose, as young and independent women,
there was no need to get so deep, but now as we were maturing and building
families, the dynamics were really going through a rebirthing.
I sat on the long sofa, and watched Ketly as he rocked
Shayne to sleep. I thought it was cute,
but I also thought it wasn’t my speed. I
had no desire to be a mom at this point in my life. Tony had mentioned it a few times, but I just
reminded him that we would be together for a life time. Now, that lifetime was under attack. Our dream was dwindling away. Sad, neither one of us seemed to be ready, or
willing to go through the fire to save it.
I sat eagerly waiting for Ketly to finish up with Shayne,
so we could talk a bit. I wanted to understand
what had happened between her and Jeff. I needed to know if she was really doing okay.
“So let me get this straight—you go there to be there for
him, and he uses his breath to punish you?”
I needed to clarify what I was hearing.
Ketly was now sitting next to me, with one leg tucked under the other,
and with a glass of wine. I had never
seen her so sad. Surely, she was not a
ten personality, but she was definitely a seven or eight. Looking at her now; her light was dim.
“So what’s next KK?”
“I’m not sure, but Shayne deserves my focus right now.”
“I agree.” I
“What about you?
What are you going to do?” Ketly
asked, and we continued to toggle back and forth with the same seeming
question… of “what now”. Neither of us
knew, and both of us appeared to be somewhat exhausted by the thought, but I
knew that we would be ready to put one foot in front of the other, just as soon
as it became necessary. We were built